Really?

It was the best of classes, it was the worst of classes

2010-07-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've put on some weight this past year, which is driving me crazy. Finally motivated by frustration, tight clothes, and the promise of a pretty new dress, I've been eating healthy the past few weeks. No more junk food, lots of fruits and veggies, the usual. The fact that it's Restaurant week (which is actually two weeks) has been counter-productive. Oh yeah, all the wine and sangria that one must indulge in to get thru New York's current heat wave is a major calorie-upper as well. Water, schmater - when it's 96 degrees and disgustingly humid, you have to drink sangria. So after three weeks of (semi) hard work, I weigh exactly the same. It's time to start moving.

So I decided to pick yoga back up.

I love yoga - it's relaxing and strenuous all at the same time. Your body loves it, and it's always nice to have a happy body. I haven't taken a class in about 6 months, even though I got this fabulous coupon book at the beginning of the year - basically like an Entertainment Guide - 2 classes at one studio, a week at another, etc. I decided it's time to make a dent in this book, besides the coupons I've given out to others.

Yesterday I looked online for a basic yoga class - something light to ease me back in. I looked at a number of websites, trying to find a class in the hour I had available between work and another Restaurant week reservation. Exhale had a class 5:30 -6:30 that mentioned pilates, and I signed right up.

Apparently I mixed up what I read on other websites with what I thought this class would entail.

I get there, take out my mat, and realize no one else has a mat. Sheepishly, I put it back away and get the equipment everyone else had - a 4 - 5" red rubber ball, hand weights, and a strap. Maybe it's yoga without mats? The instructor starts out with "Welcome to Core Fusion!"

Core Fusion is Pilates Aerobics ON CRACK. It's the most intense, strenuous class I've ever taken. EVER. We worked our legs, arms, butt & abs until they couldn't take anymore, until they were shaking so badly you were sure you couldn't last the 10 more reps the instructor just declared was next. The "break" between working each muscle group was 15 push-ups. At the end of the class I wobbled out like a big mound of Jello.

This is Exhale's description of the class: "Fusing the disciplines of core conditioning, Pilates, the Lotte Berk Method, interval cardio training, and yoga, this highly-acclaimed and publicized mind body experience incorporates 50 years of collective teacher expertise from co-founders Fred DeVito and Elisabeth Halfpapp. Allowing you to work from the inside out, this transformational class consistently delivers results, including washboard abs, a tighter and higher backside, long, lean muscles, and an athletic, toned body."

A friend had taken this class for awhile, and told me it never gets easier. It's amazing how much they can squeeze in an hour. I hated and loved how it felt. While it was the complete opposite of the class I thought I had signed up for, I can't wait to go back. Once I stop feeling like Jello.

Twilight strikes again

2010-03-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I got on the subway, and there was this guy around our age in a suit, taking up two seats with his legs wide open. I said, "Excuse me," he GLARED at me and moved over. There was a paper on the seat, so I asked him if it was his - he glared at me again like I was lower than low, and continued shopping for ties on his phone.

I dropped the newspaper on the floor, sat down, and thought about why this guy was so rude to me. Maybe it was a bad day? Maybe his girlfriend had just dropped him and he was anti-women? Maybe he really is that well endowed, and needed the extra room? But I decided it was that it was that he's a vampire and I'm like how Bella is to Edward - his specialty, or favorite type of human to drink from/kill. He had to look at me with disdain and stay away from me so he didn't suck my blood.

This is why I shouldn't read those books.

Man Booker Prize: AFotW

2010-01-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

"Merry Christmas to Me!" this year was a MoMa membership and a ton of books. I usually look at lists posted here and there to get an idea of what's new and great. Not the best seller list - no judgement, but I seem to prefer books not on that list. And, thanks to Google, I stumbled upon the Man Booker List. It looked like an intriguing group of books, most I hadn't heard of. Ta-dah - New goal for the year is to read all of 2008's list. Why 2008 instead of 2009? 2008's list is cheaper.

The first foray is A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. Critics compared Toltz's first novel to A Confederacy of Dunces - a book I have mixed feelings about. I can't stand Ignatius J. Reilly, and I am constantly disgusted while reading about his antics, and his valve problems. At the same time, I loved reading about those same antics, valve problems and all, and couldn't put the damn book down. It's an amazingly well written novel that brings joy & disgust all at the same time. So I figured AFotW would at the least be intriguing and, hopefully, well written.

It was! It is! I enjoyed the story but the writing is what makes this book. The sentences, the concepts strung together are awesome. I can't wait to read the rest of the Man Booker list, and feel like I've stumbled upon a plethera of potentially amazing books - yay! Below are my favorite quotes from AFotW:

- The moment seemed endless, but it was probably only half that.

- As I passed through the gates, the blistered hands of nostalgia gave my heart a good squeeze and I realized you miss shit times as well as good times, because at the end of the day what you're really missing is just time itself.

- No, why air every ugly, negative, loopy, idiotic thought that floats through the head? That's why when you're standing by the harbor, and your lover says, in a tender embrace, "What are you thinking about?" you don't respond, "That I hate people and I wish they'd fall down and never get up." I'm telling you. You just can't say it. I don't know much about women, but I do know that.

- The interior of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace's underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade.

- "Because you're like a son to me" "No, I'm not. We're more like distant cousins secretly checking each other out."

- I'd already made two attempts at seeing her, and both times I'd come off looking pathetic. The first time I returned a bra that belonged to her that she'd left in my hut, and the second time I returned a bra belonging to her that I'd actually bought that morning in a department store.

- Occasionally we gave each other looks that said, "Things are out of our hands but we have to do something, and this knowing look is it."

- Your father doesn't know how to cuddle, that's all. He only uses one arm!"

- His worldview seemd to be something like "This place sucks. Let's refurbish."

- Or about how if you listen closely, you discover that people aren't really ever FOR something but instead are just opposed to its opposite.

False Gods

2009-11-23T10:57:00.001-08:00

There is a good church! And it’s in New York! Miracles really do happen.

From the sarcastic tone above, you can probably discern I don’t quite love the idea of church again, yet. The yet on the end of that sentence is a very new addition, and an interesting one. My boyfriend goes to church, and occasionally, I invite myself along. It was very emotional the first time I attended, especially during worship (singing the hymns & praise songs) – it surprised me how uncomfortable I was, how quickly old emotions rushed to the surface. I haven’t been in a Christian church (besides my few experiences w/ St. Patrick’s) since 2002 or 2003. The same feelings came back, along with the doubt & distrust that is mixed in, and usually prevails.

The first time I went was to see what this part of the boy’s life was about. I’ve gone back since to hear the pastor talk. This guy is smart, logical, and has a sense of humor – and he’s a pastor! He talks to the congregation like they’re adults, uses real life situations to help you understand, and – my favorite part – uses sources other than the Bible to support the point he’s sharing with us. It is incredibly frustrating to have someone stand behind an alter/podium, speak down to me, and declare that’s the way it is – all because the Bible said so. For those who are more on the doubters side than the believers, we need the additional references – we need to see additional support to believe/agree/understand the topic/subject.

Another reason it’s good I keep going is because I’m thinking about religion again. Religion, and my feelings regarding it, has been on the backburner for a number of years now, and I figured it was probably a good thing to start thinking about, start looking into again.

Last night’s service touched on suffering, and false gods. A main point was that when you have false gods, you put your hopes/ambitions toward them, and when they collapse, as they inevitably do, you end up floundering, trying to get your feet back under you, but the anchor you were using is gone, so it’s difficult.

I have false gods. I have tons and tons of them.

All my efforts are put into my family, job, relationships, hair, outfits, diets, Gonzaga’s basketball team, learning, knitting, etc. And it’s true – when things crash & burn, or don’t work out as planned, I get upset, watch When Harry Met Sally, and flounder about, until I find something else to focus that part of my efforts on, or a new goal for that same subject.

All of this isn’t news, and everyone’s heard this theory a gazillion times. My false gods and my reactions when things go awry isn’t remotely surprising.

What is news is that while listening to this sensible, smart man discuss this topic, I had a desire to push aside this repetitive pattern and go to God. Make him my anchor for the first time as an adult, and see what it’s like, compared to my teenage experience.

Of course, as soon as this desire popped into my head, I mulled over it for about 30 seconds, then pushed it back down – that’s a big thought, leading to big, complicated decisions much more difficult than deciding which hairstyle to wear, or which book to read next. But it is still there, waiting for more reflection.

I want to be a Yogi (Yogini?) - something like that

2009-08-10T12:34:00.001-07:00

I decided i should start taking yoga classes. I have had the mat, videos, and books for years, and have used these items from time to time with varying degrees of dedication, but have never taken an actual class before. And I've always liked the idea of being one of those people who go to yoga - they're more centered, zen-ish, and bendier than me (which isn't hard considering I can't touch my toes). So I asked a woman at my work, who is basically a yogi, where's a good place to go. She tells me about this great studio in Union Square (a location I like), above Strand bookstore (even better!) called OM Studio. Gives me the list of her favorite teachers, and the website that has the class schedule there, and all the info I need to jump right in. That was in March. March 27th, to be exact.

First I had to really think about if I wanted to start doing this. I mean, it costs money, I'm already quite busy, and I truly hate working out. I like yoga videos occasionally, but even gyms w/ yoga classes are too ugh - I just hate it. Add spending money to do something I can’t stand, and you can see why I don't exercise! So I kept the email, and just looked at it once in a while. Once or twice I even clicked on the website. The opening photo had a girl doing a position that did not look pleasant, but her hair was in pigtails. I like pigtails.

In June I decided I wanted to be Lolita for Halloween this year. My friends and I saw someone rock this costume last year. She had a 50's style swimsuit, big hat, red heart-shaped sunglasses, and was sucking on a lollipop. I loved it - I wanted to run into the bathroom w/ her and exchange costumes so I could stare at people seductively from behind red heart-shaped sunglasses. I refrained, mostly because I don't think the rest of the bar wanted to see me in a 50's bikini.

I now had motivation for yoga. I want to be Lolita next year for Halloween and wear a bikini in a bar all night.

So first I had to find my yoga clothes. I decided I wasn’t going to spend more money on workout clothes so I had to dig through my closet and find my two workout outfits. That took awhile. Then I decided I needed a bag for my yoga mat – I can’t just carry the mat, that’s ludicrous. And I can’t buy one – remember, I’m spending a minimal amount of money on this new venture. So I found a pattern to knit a yoga bag. (and yes, I used yarn I already had, so no additional costs there).

At this point, I did get a few comments about procrastination, and my avoidance of attending classes. I protested my true need for a bag and inability to bend into crazy positions without one, finished said bag, and ran out of reasons to not go.

So I’m attending classes! And enjoying it – I have favorite teachers, favorite positions, etc. While I have to admit I’m often the comic relief of the class while trying to “find my center”, it is actually enjoyable. I’ll provide details on that last sentence soon. And hopefully while in my 50’s style bikini.

Self-Realization

2009-07-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, I learned something about myself. You know those times when you react to something small, and realize that's how you always react to similar situations (big or small), and wham, a character trait you never knew you had is suddenly there before your eyes? That you're THAT type of person?

Well, that happened to me. Something happened, I reacted, and realized what that meant about my personality. This surprised me, I thought it over, and decided to blog about it.

Trouble is, I can't recall what it was! Must have been quite the realization, huh?

Worlds Colliding

2009-07-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

I had this idea probably 6 years ago, while emailing my BFF instead of working, about the next Harry Potter book that was coming out shortly. We were debating all the possibilities of what the next book could entail, what would happen, etc, etc. This was our idea of What Would Happen Next:

Harry will meet Voldemort and they'll fight, and Voldemort will suddenly declare that Snape was Harry's father - Snape always loved Lily and had tempted her away from James for a short bit, but she went back to James, even though he was not the father of her child. Harry will run off, scared and confused to the swampy Degabond System (same planet the Weasley's live on) and there Dumbledore will teach Harry more about the force, and show him the way.

Then Ron & Hermoine would get together, because Hermoine is the smart, magical one, and Han So-, I mean Ron is the humerous one. The Weasley twins hang out w/ them occasionally, making odd sounds, and Ron's response is always "You said it, Chewy".

Harry will be tempted by the Dark Side, in an attempt to bring his mother back, but will have learned enough magic and knowledge to know that path leads to no good. He'll be angry at Snape, but try to convince him Voldemort is evil, and not the person to follow. Snape will appreciate the effort, and say so, which'll fix Harry's father issues, and he'll never be conflicted again. Snape will also tell him that Harry & Hermoine are twins, seperated at birth, with Hermoine hidden in a Muggle family.

Ron & Hermoine will have lots of babies who are funny AND fabulous at magic - they'll look like Ewoks, rule the world, and amuse people w/ stories of their parents and their parent's friends who saved the world way back in the day from the clutches of Darth Vader.

Jewish Humor

2009-06-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

New York Magazine did an article on Jewish Humor, focusing on Woody Allen & Larry David, and there was a section full of Jewish jokes, from Groucho Marx to Seth Rogen. Some of them were cracking me up, and I thought I’d share my favorites:

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it ~ Groucho Marx

The famous Yiddish actor Boris Thomashefsky takes a whore back to his hotel room. After they do the deed, instead of paying her, he hands her a pair of tickets to that night’s show. Annoyed, she says, “With these you can buy bread?” “You want bread,’ Thomaskefsky says, ‘screw a baker.”

Jewish man gets hit by a car. Paramedics come, and one asks him “Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a nice living.” ~ Henny Youngman

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I’ve always figured if you have enough money, you can get a key made ~ Joan Rivers

A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno . . . it was one of those parties that got out of hand ~ Lenny Bruce

Jews and blacks come from the same history – 2,000 years of bullshit. We just expressed our suffering differently as people. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complain – we just never thought of putting it to music ~ Jon Steward

I was raped by a doctor. Which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl ~ Sarah Silverman

And my favorite (apparently an old Jewish classic):
Mr. Rabinowitz is suffering from a malady that nobody can diagnose … They finally go to a famous physician at Newark-Beth Israel Medical Center.
He says, “Mr. Rabinowitz, what’s bothering you?”He runs him through an exhaustive battery of tests and, lo and behold, he discovers what’s wrong.
“Mr. Rabinowitz, is your wife waiting for you?”
“Yes, she’s in the vaiting room?”
“Will you go outside and send her in?”
She comes in and says, “Yes, doctor? What’s the matter with my Irving?”
The doctor says, “Mr. Rabinowitz has a very rare disease, it’s almost invariably fatal, there’s only one cure for it.”
“Yes, what’s that, we’ll do anything?”
“The only thing that will help him is oral sex.”
“What?”
“Oral sex. You know what that is?”
“Oh sure—oral sex, I know.”
She goes out to the waiting room, and Irving says,
“Sadie, Sadie, what did the doctor say?”
“You’re gonna die.”

Friday Musings

2009-05-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

This was an email sent to friends, but I was so entertained by it, I thought I'd share . . . with probably the same friends who occasionally read these entries.

So besides being completely unmotivated this afternoon, I was singing a song by the sadly-no-longer band The Darkness, as their lead singer, Justin something, declared he couldn’t live healthily (i.e., w/out drugs) and still be in a rock band. The world no longer gets songs titled “Love on the Rocks w/ No Ice” and “Get Your Hands Off My Woman, Motherf**ker!” or gets to see him perform in a leopard print unitard w/ a big cutout down to his navel to show off the lack of chest hair, like he’s an 80’s monster band performer. Sigh. I miss him so.

None of that is my point really – my point is I was singing aloud their song, “One Way Ticket to Hell . . . and Back” (insert long vent about work which I will not post online), and I just realized the “and back” lyric of the song doesn’t really make sense. One way tickets don’t let you go back . . . hmm. Who’d have thought the Darkness would ever be inaccurate, or worse, that it took me 2 years of singing that song to realize the error?

Is it 5 yet?

The Catholic Church is not for me

2009-05-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Over the past year or so, I've started going to church again. Going to Mass, actually, at St. Patricks. It's a quick, 30 minute service in a beautiful building with fabulous acoustics - I enjoy the atmosphere, light a candle, and then step back out into the real world.

Although my father's family is Portuguese Catholic, I was never raised as one, and rarely attended Catholic services besides funerals & weddings. In fact, I spent a lot of time in high school at the non-denominational church next door, and could wave to my cousins & extended family across the parking lot.

I started going to Mass at St. Patricks last year when I found out Mom was scheduled to have surgery (she's fine), and I needed . . . to be comforted, I guess. My friends love my statement "Religion is like comfort food", and how I often compare the big R to a plate of gooey mac n' cheese.

I've continued going once every couple weeks over the past year. I say the automatic responses, and ignore the service completely, instead using the time the priest is lecturing/providing communion, as my time - thinking things out, dividing & conquering conundrums in my head.

Until recently.

Last week, during the service I actually listened to the priest. The topic was the Virgin Mary, and how we need to pray through her to get Jesus' help & support. This is one of the many problems I have w/ Catholism (sp?) - why do we have to go through a person (a saint now) to get answers from Jesus? Why pray to saints? Kudos to them for doing the good deeds, or having the right connections, to become a saint, but really? I need to ask them to ask God for help? Cut out the middle man, people! I don't even know if I believe in God, but if he's there, I'm not about to sit on the side and ask his friends to put in a good word for me.

And this week, it got even worse. The priest was declaring how all Catholics need to be unified, to present one front to the secular world (for you non-religious folks, that's what we call you, and the world outside the church. It's like being called a Muggle). He was mad at some woman on TV who declared she was Catholic, but also believed in gay marriage. (Who knew priests watch TV?) Then he was mad at someone else on TV (clearly addicted to cable) who claimed to be Catholic, but was also pro-choice. He then yelled, "How can you be Catholic and PRO-DEATH?!" And, the congregation nodded, and agreed! I realized that by sitting there, in that beautiful church, I was associated with, and even supporting, these people with their black & white views of the world, and how they react to/judge situations in it.

So now I don't know what to do. Maybe stop by the church when there's no services, sit, light a candle, and go? I feel like I can't go any longer as I will not stand behind those view points, but the environment is incredibly comforting. Maybe a park instead? Find solace in the trees, and smile at the crazies talking to themselves? I don't know.

I do know that I am most certainly not Catholic. Darn priests for opening their mouths and ruining my calorie-free comfort food.

2009-03-30T08:44:00.001-07:00

I lost my love, my iPhone, (also known as iBob) Sunday night. Left him in a taxi. I tried to stay calm about it – it is just a phone, and worst case scenario is I have to buy a new one. I inventoried what was unsalvageable (phone #s, last month’s calorie tracker, my high score on the gory surgery game), and convinced myself I’ll be just as happy with a new, younger cousin of iBob’s.

A few hours later, I was tracked down by the guy who found my phone in the taxi, and is leaving w/ his doorman for me to pick-up. There are still good people in this city!

Random

2009-03-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

It’s been far too long, so here’s lots of big & small events, compiled into small items:

- Rewind: worst bar in NY ever. EVER. And if you do go there, leave your weave and dignity at home

- I can walk quickly/run up 11 flights of stairs in 4 ½ “ heels. Booyah

- Selling books on Amazon is more trouble than it’s worth

- The US Post Office will run out of money this year unless they get some assistance. That amuses me

- My co-workers are obsessed w/ the McDonald’s Fish Fillet commercial song. It’s all I hear, all day long.

- Billy Crudup is the voice-over for the Mastercard “Blah blah blah – Priceless” commercials.

- Cherry-scented nail polish is fabulous

- I made an erupting volcano w/ a 7 year-old. I’ve never seen her so excited about something since the latest Hannah Montana movie

- The front page of the Wall Street Journal was so full of interesting news today, I almost stole it from my boss. This is proof I have been in New York too long

Ben

2009-02-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

I miss my brother so much. I miss his laugh, and his awkward walk, and how cool he was, since he didn't care what anyone else thought. He was the kind, sweet kid in the family. We'd joke that he'd take care of mom & dad when they got old, because he was the one nice enough to want to do it :-). I want to hug him again, and hear him tease me about being more than a foot shorter.

Was. Using that verb tense with Ben's name just shouldn't have to be done.

I want to tell people I have two fantastic little brothers who I couldn't be prouder of, and happier to have as siblings. How strong we are, how much we've achieved, blah blah blah. Now I pause and have to think of an answer to that question. Do I explain "I had two little brothers but one died last year" and face the onslaught of questions and sympathy, or say "I have one brother" and try to ignore the guilt and pain I feel for not even mentioning Ben. Can't there be a third option?

Time is not healing anything. Yes, time is making it easier for me to go on w/ life, and stay sidetracked thinking of other things. But I'm not healing. I'm not feeling better, or singing about the Circle of Life, or am able to help others w/ their grief.

Time does not help. All that's happening is just more and more days without him here, with me just curled up wearing Ben's old shirt, wishing that stupid car never hit that stupid stone wall, wishing suicide could just be a stupid joke, wishing those 5 small minutes where everything happened back, before we had to start saying "was".

Current Events

2009-02-04T15:54:00.000-08:00

A New Year's Goal (and since I have more money than last fall) is to go to as many events as possible. Here are a few:

Equus
Yes, I joined the screaming teenagers to see Harry Potter naked . . . no, seriously, I wanted to see his acting abilities, and like the screenplay, and . . . okay, a bit of all the above. My friend, Hiromi, joined in not knowing what she was in for (right before the play started, she asked, "So this is a musical, right?") The show was well- done, with a simple stage. The horses were fantastic, and I instantly fell for the main horse (he plays another small character as well). Daniel Radcliffe did a good job - it was hard to watch him and not think about Harry Potter, but I tried. He acted well, not the best I've seen, but I believed his character's emotion. I'm looking forward to watching him continue to grow in his acting ability, as he has the past few years. And yes, he was naked. Running, leaping, pretending to sleep w/ a naked girl, chasing, stabbing horses, naked. Hiromi was surprised - I think it would have been easier for her if he had also burst into song :-)

The psychologist, played by Richard Griffiths, owned the stage, and had some of the best lines in the play. The plot line includes his concern - if he "cures" this boy, Alan, then Alan will lose his passion, and be "normal" like everyone else. The doctor was jealous - he declared Alan experienced more passion in an hour then he had in his whole life. My favorite line from the doctor was "In an ultimate sense I cannot know what I do in this place - yet I do ultimate things."

13 Most Beautiful . . . Songs for Andy Warhol's Screen Tests
My dad asked what my weekend plans were. I told him Kim got us tickets to a concert, and when he asked what kind of concert, I explained "It's an ex-indie band that composed songs to go along w/ 13 of Andy Warhol's screen tests." Dad laughed, and we went to the event and loved it. Dean Wareham and Britta Phillps played their songs, with the screen tests showing on a backdrop. It was fantastic - so well done, and entertaining. Music w/ visuals can go bad real quick, but this was very well done. And the venue in the Time Warner Bldg, is worth going for the view.

12th Night @ the Pearl Theatre
There is a small theater on St. Marks with big dreams. They are always putting on plays of Shakespeare, Socrates, Wilde, etc. This little venue showed the unabridged Hamlet - a 3 1/2 hr production! - last year, and it was the best Hamlet I've seen. Then, they received my undying devotion by producing The Importance of Being Earnest last year, the inspiration for one of my tattoos :-) So Lauren and I went and saw their current production, 12th Night. It was well done, and my favorite actor there, Sean McNall, was great as a jester. I'd recommend this theatre and their plays to everyone . . . w/ fair warning - they have more senior citizens as fans than Church Bingo on a Tuesday night. I still don't know why, but the audience has always been at least 80% over the age of 80, and Jewish. Half the fun of attending the shows is to overhear conversations in line for the restroom.

with breath that is bated . . .

2009-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

I'm in the flat lands, currently. Things are good, I've got nothing to complain about, yet I'm waiting for more. I'm curious as to what the next chapter in my life is going to bring. I'm researching a few options I want to explore, and I'm trying to go out and see more things - more plays, concerts, dinners, etc. I have a steady job in this economy, everything is fine. I'm just waiting for the next thing - the next defining event that will take place. I'm guessing it'll be school, or blonde hair. My "biological clock" has been very loud lately, which is amusing and annoying me at the same time - how does one fight instincts? I'm anxious for the next step - and am ready for it!

Holiday Travel Parts II & III

2009-01-10T09:30:00.000-08:00

So after California, John & I flew to Spokane to see the fam. Amazingly, we weren't delayed and arrived as scheduled. Spokane was good - a lot of time with Mom & Dad, saw the Grandparents, and lots of Aunt Tina. John built huge 10 ft high "castle walls" in our front yard, and an igloo in the back. Since John had taken all of dad's snow clothes, Dad jumped into his wetsuit and joined him - the photos are hysterical. Christmas Eve was at my Aunt Tina & Uncle Mark's - getting there and back was long, but it was good times. We played a lot of Wii and just hung around, due to the 5 ft of snow outside keeping us mostly indoors. I did see some friends, which was a lot of fun - I miss you all already!

John flew home to Seattle and I flew there too, later in the day, to stay w/ Christiffin for a bit. Honestly, I was exhausted at this point, and just wanted to curl up in a ball. But it was so relaxing and nice seeing Christiffin and John and Georgia, that I quickly got my enegery back. Christopher & I went to the surprisingly good Seattle Art Museum, and Tiff & I later hit up the Science Fiction Museum - which was awesome! It had old books and comics, and costumes from tons of sci-fi stuff, be it Star Trek, or Star Wars, or actual NASA items, to Lost in Space and newer stuff too. There was an E.T. and Donatello from TMNT, next to a plastic pizza, of course. Being the dorks we are, we highly, highly enjoyed it :-)

New Year's was great - Georgia & John joined us, and after walking about 7 miles, we started bar hopping, and enjoying the people and everyone celebrating New Years. But the biggest part of the whole trip was when Christiffin each got iPhones (they've joined the cult!!) and Christopher showed me the best app ever - "Lightsaber". You can choose your character, or create your own, select your style of lightsaber, and then, as you swing your phone around, it makes lightsaber sounds. Seriously. Christopher & I had an epic battle w/ our phones, and Tiffin probably thought she was surrounded by idiots.

Side Note

2008-12-28T16:03:00.000-08:00

Mom & I are watching the Giants/Minnesota game, and she sees a commercial for a TV show that looks good. The commercial ends, and Mom is trying to remember what day it starts.

Mom: "Bonnie, did you get the date? Shoot!"

Me: "Mom, we're watching a DVR'd game. Rewind it."

Holiday Travel Part I

2008-12-28T16:01:00.000-08:00

I went completely crazy this holiday season and decided to trek all up and down the West Coast, braving the crazy flights/travel issues. And then it decided to snow. And snow and snow and snow.

I missed the big storm in New York Friday night, and managed to get my delayed flight out Saturday morning (while feeling bad for all the people sprawled out asleep throughout Newark Airport whose flights were cancelled). Not only was my flight delayed an hour, we had to stop in Kansas City to refuel (seriously) before landing, which made me miss my connecting flight. Long story short, I caught a standby to LA, getting to my Grandma Sue's only a few hours late.
My brother John met us in Cali, after a night of partying with friends and seeing Dayne Cook perform in Hollywood, and we spent the weekend with my fantastic Gma Sue. She took us out to dinners, a dueling piano bar, movies, and her bar, where she got John tipsy, and me drunk. We made it home to her place so I could pass out in peace and sleep off the booze before more traveling the next day. By the by, Rumple-something (100 proof peppermint schnapps) is fantastic and dangerous all at the same time. I've had more shots this month than I have in the past 3 years. Freakin' A.

We also stopped by my mom's parents, who haven't seen John since he was 11, and he entertained us all w/ stories of being a Private Investigator in Seattle. I tried to compete w/ stories of HR and Admin stuff, but you can guess who won that one. It was great seeing the Grandparents, and we were off to Washington.

No flight issues to Spokane, other than John declaring I talk too much to strangers (it's not my fault I sat next to a cute ex-football player on the plane!), and we passed the time mocking Mr. Encyclopedia Dad behind us (explaining to his young daughter how and why horses are neutered). Will let you know how the Spokane & Seattle portions go shortly!

If I make it here, I'll make it . . .

2008-10-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I was heading home after a thing around 10 or 11pm. Had stopped at Starbucks for my fall must-have drink, pumpkin spice latte, and then decided to take the long route to the subway. As I'm wandering the streets, rocking out to my iBob, I'm contemplating life and how much I'm enjoying living in New York. It's not easy, but I love it and feel as though I'm succeeding, most of the time. I continue to mentally pat myself on the back for a few blocks until I accidentally squeeze my coffee and it squirts thru the lid right up my nose. I have to sputter and look like an idiot, trying to clean off the spill from this hot coffee up the nose and on my face, in front of a crowded restaurant. New York 1, Bonnie 0.

Birthday Gift

2008-09-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

I received my birthday gift from my fabulous Aunt Tina today. She sent me an adorable dress (I'm in love with) and some lacy underwear. Now, Aunt Tina has never sent me undies before - this is something new and I think it's fun, especially since they were cute.

The sad/funny thing is I'm going to be a 27 year-old woman in a few days. My Aunt sends me underwear and I'm thankful because I have put off laundry for too long - I actually wore bright green bikini bottoms (that tie on the sides!) today under my formal business attire because I'm out of other options! I'm not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.

This does mean I can put off laundry for a few more days! Thanks Aunt Tina!

Switch over

2008-07-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

I'm switching from blogging on my myspace page to blogging here. So I posted most of my old myspace blogs and put the date of when they were originally shared w/ the world. Just to clarify the confusion! I'll blog here from now on. To all interested (hi mom!)

Moments

2008-07-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

I saw a little girl w/ her dad on the subway. She was right inbetween child/teenager stage - about 11. She was wearing a cute white baby phat outfit and she had a purse and sneakers. But she was still acting like a kid, swinging on the pole in the subway and singing some song she knew to her dad. I thought her dad might be a bit embarrassed by his daughter singing on a crowded subway, but actually he quickly joined right in and sang along with her. It was a nice moment and fun to see this girl ending one phase in her life and just about to enbark on the next.

When I was watching Phoebs (an adorable one year old) one afternoon, we went to the park. All the other parents I talked to thought I was her mom and, since I've watched Phoebs since she was 2months, I was able to answer all the questions and play along. It was fun to play mom. Even more fun to get paid for it.

I was walking the city the other night and saw this couple a block or so ahead of me. She had a white summer dress and he was wearing a shirt and tie. They stayed ahead of me for a while, moving close together and then out again, so I was imagining how happy they were, this perfect couple on a summer's night, in front of me. I was just putting the finishing touches to their white picket fence when I got close enough to hear them. Yelling. Him "You always do that!" Her "No, I don't!" Him: "Yes, you do - listen" He proceeds to pull out his cell phone and put his saved voicemails from her on speaker so she and everyone else nearby can hear them. Her "I don't want to hear this!" Him "You have to! You f--ing have to!" They were moving close to each other to yell louder and then moving apart in anger. Good thing that fence I painted was imaginary.

Costa Rica June 30, 2008

2008-07-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

A recap of the fabulous vacay.

12 of us pitched in and rented a villa on the ocean in Nosara, Costa Rica, for one week. The villa was literally on the ocean, and came w/ a pool, a cook, and a house cleaner. Along w/ a lot of the local wildlife, as we came to discover.

After surviving a night of drama that only open bars and dating in NY can provide, we made it to the airport at 4AM and got two of our still drunk friends through Customs (god knows how) and let them wander the airport for an hour searching for hash browns. After a five hour plane ride, we made it to San Jose and took a shuttle bus to Nosara on the west side of Costa Rica - a small surfing, yoga community. Our villa was adorable and the rest of our friends were already there to greet us in swim suits and sun screen. Costa Rica is beautiful - it's one of the most ecologically friendy countries in the world and they are purposely not over developing the land. It's not a third world county, but it's not first world either. We all had to adjust to life w/out our cell phones, and I must admit it was tough to be separated from iBob, but I ended up loving our lack of communication to the outside world.

We played in the ocean, surfed, boogie boarded, walked to "town" to eat more food and buy souvenirs. We had the beach completely to ourselves as far as the eye could see. There was a thunderstorm one night and we lost all power for several hours - which turned out to be a blast. Some of our friends went on a deep sea fishing trip, got to see dolphins playing and caught a 35 lb fish that starts w/ a W and we all ate it for dinner that night. The rest of us were satisfied w/ the amount of animals/sea life around our villa. There were little geckos all over the ceiling/roof and bats would fly around all night, eating the bugs for us. We saw a couple monkeys in the trees nearby and more crabs than we knew what to do with. We soon learned to keep our bedroom doors closed and appointed people to crab patrol - these orange and purple guys loved the pool as much as we did. There were iguanas and birds and a local cow always nearby - it was a bit overwhelming at first, but we quickly learned to coexist and would cheer on the geckos to eat more of the bugs so they would stop eating us.

We did go on a canopy tour - a zip line - that was an adventure. We got picked up in a truck that I'm pretty sure is usually used to move cattle and endured a bumpy road to get harnessed up and then an even bumpier road that ended w/ a steep hike due to the rain from the day before making the road impassable. Once we got to the 22 mile zip line, which is seperated into 8 parts, we learned how we would be hooked onto a cable and how we would careen above the valleys and trees. I can't describe it - only that it has to be on everyone's list of things to accomplish in their life. Usually there is also a waterfall that we all get to play in, but due to the rain, it was disgustingly dirty water, and we had to pass that up. The guides amused themselves by playing practical jokes - pushing us so we would go faster, jumping out and trying to scare us as we stopped, flirting in Spanish, and making the wires bounce us up and down. I felt like my dad was w/ us, minus the flirting in Spanish :-) We did see at the end the owner of the Canopy was adding on last cable wire to the trek - that will land on his currently halfway built hotel roof so people can end the tour on the roof and enjoy a drink after the fun times. Fantastic business plan, if you ask me.

It was a week of relaxing and playing in the ocean and remembering the NY pace of life is not the only speed one can go. I also slept so much it scared my friends - apparently I was catching up on about a 4 months worth of late nights. I didn't want to come back and have reinstated that my next city to live in will definitely be somewhere like Costa Rica - relaxing under palm trees - how can a girl turn that down?

We made it back to city at 3AM, some of us drove home, others went straight to work, and I went back to open bars and NY dating drama, refreshed and w/ a very nice tan.

Singles Quotes "Welcome to Debbie Country" August 13, 2007

2008-07-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

-Tell me, from a girl's point of view,what do you want from a guy?

-Well, when I first movedout here from Tucson I wanted a guy with looks, security, caring.
Someone with their own place.
Someone who said "bless you"or "gesundheit" when I sneezed
Someone who liked the samethings as me, but not exactly.
And someone who loves me.

-Tall order.

-Yeah, I scaled it down a little.

-What is it now?

-Someone who says "gesundheit, "although I prefer "bless you." It's nicer.

New Discovery

2008-07-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Went on a date the other night and the handsome man sitting across the table and I were discussing movies quite peacefully UNTIL he declared a movie he liked is one that I consider to be truly the worst movie EVER created - Autumn in NY. We have a friend who chose that movie to see in the theater many years ago and he has not been allowed to pick a film since! Seriously - no exaggeration. It is known as the worst movie ever to all of us that suffered that horrible film - it connected us, like war buddies.

Now, I could have been nice, smiled and nodded, or said "Really? hmm" or something non-committal when my date who always pays for dinner was saying this. Nope - I declare loudly it truly is the worst movie EVER and the biggest waste of time/money/everything involved in the creation of that film down to the catered food. Then he adds that You've Got Mail is also good. I nearly vomited my pho back up right then and there. That might possibly be the one movie worse than Autumn in NY!

To give the guy a little credit, he likes them for their portrayal of NYC, not the acting or lack of original plot lines. So, as I'm doing my best to convince him how bad his taste is, he tells me that he is finally seeing my bitchy side. I let him know that I personally like to call it my sarcastic/stubborn side but no - the man called it as it is. Sigh. While it is the first time I've been labeled as bitchy (to my face) and I secretly am slightly proud (must be since I'm sharing this w/ y'all) I still like to think it just my sarcasm/stubborness/obviously much better taste in film side.

Norman July 13, 2007

2008-07-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

So I guess I truly do live in NYC. We have a roach about 2 inches big (no exaggeration) living with us. I'm going to kill him as soon as I see him again but until then Norman is our third roomie. Seriously, he's so big I'm going to make him start chipping in on the rent next month. I do believe my scream pissed off all the neighbors and it took Kim (actual person - not a bug) a good 15 min to calm me down and promise that Norman wasn't going to try to kill me (or worse, crawl on me) in my sleep.

Down with the sickness July 9, 2007

2008-07-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

So those that are/were in contact w/ me on a daily basis you know that I love to show off my bruises, bug bites, scars, wherever they might be J and tell the usually funny story of how I injured myself. I've even made others touch my huge spider bite and feel how swollen my feet are, etc. (insert wicked laugh here).

And I just realized I'm THAT woman. I'm the old woman who lists all her illnesses/wounds and symptoms and exact medication prescribed for each one. Wow. That will be my saddest thought all week . . .

New resolution #17 for 2007! I will no longer go into to details on my illnesses/battle wounds/whatever unless you are 1) My mother q) Tiffin or ") my roomie (sorry yall, but I have to whine to someone!!)

The downside of this is that all the rest of you will never know what I experienced this morning on the subway and what ALMOST happened and what DIDN'T happen or even what DID happen. No fun juicy details for the rest of the (thankful) population unless you get on your hands and knees and beg.

Suffice to say, I lived through this morning (barely) and will tell no more illness tales until that fateful day when I give birth to 8 children at once. Ewww.

An Update March 18, 2007

2008-07-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Just as an update to y'all who are bored enough or a close enough friend to actually read this: I am truly happy. I don't know if I can get any happier. I have a stressful challenging job I am determined to prove I can succeed at, great friends and live in an amazing city I call home.

Seriously, when the weather is nice I grab a bagel and wander Central Park. For fun new bands and my absolute current love, TV on the Radio, I go party in Brooklyn w/ the ladies. I'm learning another language and slowly improving (plus there is a total cutie in my class). I can see plays such as the Coast of Utopia and watch Jennifer Ehle & Billy Crudup (sigh) & Ethan Hawke perfom on stage AND then ride the subway home w/ Jennifer Ehle sitting literally 2 feet away from me!!!!!! (made my whole month!!!!!) I'm going to the West Coast to see my friends and the new babies soon w/ plans to go back in the summer and hopefully to Australia in the fall. I don't know what I believe but I know I'm slowly figuring out my way in the world and my part in it. I still have all my gazillion goals and plans and can see myself moving towards them lately which is thrilling and keeps me on a total high.

My only negative concerns at the moment is that I desperatley need a hair cut and am not as skinny as I would like to be (darn those Ben & Jerry pints). But if that's the worst I can complain about, that is not too bad!

I'm not trying to brag or be obnoxious. And I'm not drunk either :-) I'm just happy and want all those who love me to know that so they don't have to worry about their crazy friend/family member chillin on the East coast.
Cheers!

Shot down! January 28, 2007

2008-07-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

So I went out w/ friends this weekend to celebrate a good friend leaving the company and going back to school (go Lauren!!) and, lightweight that I am, had a GREAT time. We OWNED a mexican bar, at one point we were all cheering each other on in a circle and everyone in the bar was either joining in or watching. It was great. We then went to another bar where I saw a cute, tall, scruffy guy and talked w/ him at the bar about trying to get the one and only bartender's attention for his pitcher and my glass of water (we agreed if I took off my shirt we would get great service). He had to leave to play darts before his team had to forfeit and didn't get his pitcher. My friends convinced me that he was quite cute and it wasn't just my beer googles. Of course, I'm not sure how good their judgement was at that point either. So I buy the pitcher, go up to the guy and while his friends stand by and stare at this drunken redhead, I declare "Either the money for the beer or your phone number - which do I get?"

And I got . . . the money. Instantly the wallet came out. Apparently a girlfriend was in the picture. Hopefully he got a good story out of it and now I don't feel so guilty for sloshing about 1/3 of the pitcher onto his shoes while trying to get his number :-)

I just saw Mikhail Baryshnikov!!!! Jan , 2007

2008-07-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

I went to the NY times interview w/ Mikhail Baryshnikov this weekend and it was as amazing as I thought and hoped it to be! He was intriguing, made some great points and just discussed his ballet career and what he is doing now and what is good and bad about NY.

*He discussed what it was like coming here from Russia in '79 and how open NY was to him and kind and how thrilled he was to be working with such choreographers
*Mikhail will always be a better dancer in rehearsal than he will ever be on stage and he prefers rehearsing to performing, he gets bored doing the latter
*The reason for his new center, the Baryshnikov Center, is for young artists coming to NY. In his opinion, ballet and the arts were so amazing in the 60's and 70's because NY was so open and accepting and inviting for young artists - it was an atmosphere the arts could truly flourish in. Now he thinks that NY is much tougher, harder, and not considerate to the new artists trying to make something of themselves, let alone survive in NY at all. So there is less creativity, less amazing works, less for all to experience because the opportunities are not there. So that is the purpose of his center, to allow the young dancers coming to NY to have a place to come where they are welcome to learn and grow and experiment and perform.

It was a wonderful hour and I truly enjoyed getting to learn more about such an amazing person. The Q&A time at the end showed how inspired the audience was by him as a person and him as a dancer. We were all just in awe of this little man who is such a humanitarian.

Bubble explanation

2008-04-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

I used to have a bubble. It sounds weirder than it is, I swear, but the main reason I have decided to not reinstate this bubble is because i feel President Bush is living inside one as well - and that horrifies me. As well as, you know, not fully experiencing life and stuff.

In high school, sophomore year, i went through my first break up w/ a boy I really cared about. We declared our love for each other, were on the phone all the time, and had our parents drive the 40 minutes to each other's house at least twice a week. Then he dropped me and I emerged 4 months later, with no recollection of what happened or feeling sad about it. I had learned how to manipulate my mind to not remembering bad things happening, to the world or myself. Those are literally 4 months gone from my life. Anything bad coming along or happening in the news? I blocked it. I tried to watch Schindler's List, was completely bored w/ it but then had to rush to the bathroom to hurl. I wouldn't let the movie actually affect my brain but it did make me physically ill.

As a teenage girl who could get upset if her hair didn't look right, I thought this was a great way to go through life. Enjoy the good, block out the bad, and be constantly happy. My friends called it Bonnie's Bubble and spent a a majority of our friendship declaring this was not a good thing - in fact, it was a horrible thing. It took months of convincing but I did decide they were right and slowly let go of this bubble. Now when bad things happen I deal with it, suffer, and recall my suffering and sadness. Occasionally I curse my friends out for not being able to just block it all out but I know I enjoy the good times more and have a fuller life. One of those friends is still my best friend - if she can get me out of a bubble I'm not letting this girl go :-)

So this is my life sans bubble. 10 years now of accepting life the way it is and all it's downfalls and cloud 9s. I'm trying to take what I can from it and still help others, well, at least not hurt others, anyway. I have fantastic friends, an insatiable need to travel, and some great boy stories to share.

Lately I've been missing my bubble - I'm having a tough family time, boy troubles, and my friends are miserable. New York is fantastic but it is a stressful city that can wear on you. My current solution is to be out doing something every night. I'm distracting myself, having a blast, and meeting tons of great new connections/acquintances/friends/boys but I am getting short on funds. I might have to just stuff myself on hors d'oeurves at parties and stop buying food so I can continue going out and satisfy my travel cravings. NY is even tougher lately w/ the economy going down the way it is. These companies that are crashing and losing 19 billion dollars a quarter (seriously) are my company's clients and my friend's employers - they are watching their co-workers get laid off and everyone is talking about money and what's going to happen next. On the West Coast something like this didn't seem so personal, didn't hit as hard. Here I feel like I have a front row seat- it's stressful and hitting close to home. Frank sang, "If I make here, I'll make it anywhere" - this is surprisingly true. We are all so stressed and wound so tightly - there's a reason people play hard here - we need the release.

All that said, I still love NY and this is the first city I've lived in where I don't feel I have to pretend to be someone I'm not to fit in or to prove that I don't fit in. I'm comfortable and happy and am enjoying being me. Luckily my friends find me amusing, and there are so many crazies here we actually look semi-normal :-)

I am loving the amount of things to do - the options and possibilities. I was just at an Art Museum party, a fantastic dive bar, my friend's wedding dress fitting and an opera. This week I get to tutor, go to a Mets game, a black tie dinner gala, drive around Long Island or go to Boston, dinner w/ friends, and see if I can score a third date w/ a crazy boy I met (you really could do laundry on his stomach -sigh). And i wonder why I have no money.

So I'm glad I'm sans bubble but occasionally i do miss it. I miss the lack of worry, pain, and fear. I don't miss times of my life blocked out and not actually dealing with issues. I don't usually talk about this but i felt like sharing w/ my 59 closest friends, lol. Bubbles - bad. Experiencing all of life - currently kinda sucks, but in general fantastic. NY is tough but I've never felt this enriched before. It's making it hard to move on to my next city!